Being a young adult is not what I thought it would be.
When I was younger, I imagined how life would be when I was older, but I never gave thought as to how I would get there.
But now I am a young adult, and thinking back on the last year, it feels strange. Strange that my life isn’t anything like what I thought it would be. Not in a bad way, just different. When I was younger, I didn’t know that life was made up of the every day. Those decisions we make on a daily basis, the way we choose to spend our time.
The future seemed like something that was suddenly handed to you, and then boom, you have a house and a car and a dog (I’m not even a dog person but apparently I thought I would be at some point).
But I’m writing to you as an adult and I haven’t been handed my future. I’m just given decisions every day, some of which I don’t even feel equipped to make. Most of the time I want an adult-adult to tell me what to do, but when an adult-adult does tell me what to do I get annoyed because this is my life and why are you trying to decide for me? So, you know, gotta love a contradiction.
Do you ever see a kid and just think, wow, what a life? Being able to chuck tantrums in the middle of the shopping center because they didn’t get a donut. Like hello, I want a donut but if I do I get bloated and my skin breaks out and I have no one to blame but myself. Also, donuts aren’t in my budget.
In a previous post I wrote about adulting (you can read that by clicking here), I mentioned that it felt like there were things I should be doing but I wasn’t doing them and also how do I even know what I’m meant to be doing?
As the year creeps to a close, I still don’t really know. I still have moments when I have no idea what I’m doing and I wonder if I’m the only one winging it.
But I do know that I need to trust in God, and I know that I can always trust Him more than I am.
NaNoWriMo begins today, and as I try to achieve everything I want to this month, I’m reminded that God is in ultimate control and I don’t reeeaallly have to worry. I can be burdened by a never-ending to-do list, filled with the promise of exercise, but in my deepest of hearts I just want to be where God wants me and doing the things He wants me to do.
In saying that, God hasn’t ‘told’ me to do NaNoWriMo, but I know He wants me to work on my writing and be creative and do things that bring joy.
So this month, while there’s plenty of things I want to do, the real goal is to seek the Lord.
And then, you know, write 50,000 words while passing university. Gotta love it.