I feel like this title is misleading, because I haven’t actually been baking. Forgive me for that. But I will be speaking into baking, so I thought the title was fitting nonetheless.
I haven’t baked for a long time. I haven’t baked at all this year, actually.
Last year, I baked on occasion. The house that I live has a commercial kitchen, and I think part of the reason why I haven’t baked as much is because the oven is freakin’ scary. Don’t mock me; it’s true. And the other part is that I don’t like baking in front of other people. I live in community, which means baking in the commercial kitchen will involve seeing at least one person every five minutes.
I mean, it’s not just baking, so don’t take it personally; I don’t particularly like doing anything creative in front of anyone. It feels too awkward. I much prefer having a room or house to myself to do my thing. That’s why I play my guitar down in the empty chapel, conference hall, or small library that we have in the house. If I can see someone, I will stop playing. Again, don’t take it personally, it’s just a thing that’s a thing.
But back to baking.
If I’m being honest, baking isn’t something I did heaps when I lived with my parents. It’s something I enjoyed the thought of; I liked scanning cook books and bookmarking recipes I found on blogs, but not much happened in way of execution. (It’s the thought that counts though, right?)
I baked last year, despite the freakin’ scary oven.
But I think why I stopped baking this year is because I bought a guitar last Christmas.
Do these two facts seem unrelated to you? *French laugh* well let me explain!
Last year I liked baking on my own because it was methodical, I didn’t have to think very hard, and it gave me something to focus on for an hour. Guitar, whilst being less methodical, gives me something to focus on.
Last year, I enjoyed baking because it was an odd sort of escape. This year, know that I like guitar for much more than an escape, though it does offer it if you need. Not in an unhealthy way, just in that way that music does. It gives you something to set your mind on and you can either think really hard or not at all.
Next year, I plan on baking often, and that is when I can discover it for being a fun creative thing rather than an escape from emotions. For now, however, it will remain to be something I do when I don’t feel like thinking all that much.