I’m still eating Cruskits.
Not that this has been happening since last night. I haven’t been continuously eating Cruskits since 8:30 last night. That’s a long time to be eating Cruskits. I only bought one pack, campers.
I suppose I should say I’ve started re-eating Cruskits. Oh, I don’t know. Point of the story: I’m eating Cruskits, though saying “still” probably wasn’t the best thing to say. (I’m not going to delete this or retype it though. Heh.)
I started a new journal this morning. I had about twenty pages of my old one, but it’s the first day of term four and I wanted to have a fresh start. (Pretty sure I live for fresh starts.) It’s the first day and I’m sick and I’m hoping it doesn’t carry on. If I’m sick on my fresh start, I’m going to need a second fresh start (by washing my sheets and stale pyjamas and getting rid of sick germs). I need a fresh start for my fresh start. That makes the first fresh start kind of fake, doesn’t it?
That was a bit of a train wreck from the beginning.
But in the midst of all of these ‘fresh starts’ I’m reminded of the fact that God is a God of second chances and that He is my fresh start. I can’t just suddenly turn my life around and get into all these good habits on my own. It’s God that lets me start afresh and it’s God that forgives my sin and allows me to die to self.
It’s the start of term, yes, and that means that it’s kind of automatically a fresh start. It means I can be re-motivated for work and study and devotions and all of these things. It means I’m reenergised. But ultimately, it’s God who gives us energy and it’s Him that we should be looking for a fresh start.
The holiday refreshed me and the holiday rested me. But it’s God who is letting me start new despite where I’ve been and it’s Him who I find strength. No amount of fresh starts will get me closer to Him. I need to be continually seeking Him out. I can’t keep saying “I’ll do it on the first of January; I’ll be perfectly disciplined then and I’ll meet all of my New Year’s Resolutions.” Every day I need to be making the choice to spend time with Him, or study, or whatever it is.
I’ve nearly finished my box of Cruskits. Once this pack is done, my fresh start can officially begin 😉