Sometimes it feels like I have nothing to say and then I hear a song or read a book and I wish I had written it because they say the exact thing I’m feeling and it saddens me that they’ve taken the words that I have inside, because I can’t think of a better of putting it.
When I think about the songs I like (besides eighties music because, let’s face it, eighties music is either about nothing that makes sense or is very dramatically emotional with lots of hair) most of the time it’s the words. Beat is important yes, but I like lyrics that resonate with me at the time that I discover them.
Or I read a book and it’s so brilliantly perfect for what I’m going through and I read a paragraph and I wish I had written first because it’s just so profound.
So now I’m sad because people have used up all the words I have inside and now I don’t know what to say because I just want to quote a million songs, but I know that’s because of what I’m going through right now, so those songs might not even be that great, just great to me right now.
Do you understand my frustration?
I received a letter today from my friend with whom I correspond with through letter-writing (that was such a bizarrely written sentence I won’t reword it or delete it haha) and she said something that describes what a lot of people have gone through in their life, I think. So I’m going to quote her. She says;
“…that sense of everything crashing in over you and it just all being overwhelming, and you just want to get out in the clear where you can breathe. It’s like when you get pulled under a wave in rough surf, or when you’re climbing between close rocks and you want to get out into a wide space…”
That resonated with how I’ve been feeling, so I think instead of elaborating on it I’ll leave it at that. I always wanted this to be an honest blog, but never a negative blog just filled with sadness/angst/general-crappiness/self-pity/complaining-for-the-sake-of-it.
So. There you have it. There’s nothing new under the sun, and it seems that way with words and feelings.