We all love different things. And we all have things we love to do but we don’t do them much.
This afternoon, I was sitting at a table reflecting on some things from the past month, and I was wearing my bunchy scarf. I had a nice cup of tea, and I thought to myself Why don’t I do this more? It was exactly the thing I love doing. It’s like, just two days I ago I lay on the grass just praying to God. Why don’t I do that more often if I like it so much?
Here was my thought process this afternoon as I packed up my things…
Why don’t you do this more often?
Why don’t you just go out and be the person you want to be?
Why don’t you get out there and shine?
In the movies it looks simple. (I feel like in my blog posts I compare real life to movie life often. Don’t worry, I don’t live in an unreality where I think movies are a mirror of life. But, it’s a way of explaining things because it’s a good comparison that everyone will understand. So.)
In the movies it looks simple. Girl realises she wants to fully embrace herself. Girl fully embraces herself. World loves herself. Boy loves herself. The end.
In reality, girl wakes up next morning, puts her hair up without brushing it first, manages to get her freezing body out of bed and into a pair of comfy pants, and forgets who she’s trying to be because she’s drowning in a sea of study.
Ugh. When did this become such a teenage-ry blog? Like hello, I’m turning twenty next month. Shouldn’t I understand identity and mortgages and washing machines?
Well, I understand the identity thing. (Find your core identity in God so that when the other things fall away, you’re still standing without being destroyed at your roots.) It’s the practise that’s a little shaky. And mortgages and washing machines? I don’t even understand them. All I know is that one day I’ll probably need one. And that day is probably coming sooner than I like to think.
I don’t know. I feel like this blog post is a smoosh of thoughts about self-discovery that I should’ve used in an English exam during high school.
I think my point is this; I enjoy things but I don’t do them often. I am ‘that’ person who wears bunchy scarves whilst drinking cups of tea and journaling, and though I don’t do it often when I do I feel my spirit go ‘yay!’ because I’m looking after myself and relaxing in the way that looks after me.
Alright, this bunchy-scarved girl is going to finish this blog post here.